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I was recently talking to a good friend of mine and we were talking about relationships and friendships. The conclusion of that conversation was that you have to mentally take the time to invest emotionally in relationship to keep them alive.
Friendships that are lasting are like expensive wines. It gets better and better as it ages. With that said, I am not a drinker but that is what I have been told..lol. We have to understand that a relationship and friendship that is bonded will require care and effort to maintain it.
As I walked away from the conversation with my friend, I jotted a few things down and this is what I came up with in order to go deeper into interpersonal relationships and to become a better friend…
A true friend must be reliable
When we think of friends we usually think of someone I can count on in rough times and in good times. It’s a level of trust to know that this person has got your back. “We are in this boat together.” In a friendship, Trust can be “broken” quickly, especially if there is no reliability in the relationship. If you lose the other person’s confidence in you, it is difficult to restore it.
Just reach out and say hi!
We all live in a society where we are constantly “On The Grind”. We are accomplishing the goals that we have set forth at the beginning of the year and time is passing us by. I totally get that because I am guilty of it myself. We are so busy that we do not keep enough contact as a strong friendship requires. A good friend should have time for another regardless of circumstances.
We cannot wait around for the other person to call us, but we have to take initiative ourselves. Even if you live 500 miles away… find ways to overcome the distance!
Tell the truth when needed!
Have we created an environment where our friends can tell us the truth or have we trained them to lie to us? A real friend will not be afraid to confront or tell you the truth when needed. We have to always lead with compassion but never allow the person we call a friend to walk in error without you, as their FRIEND, letting them know when they are wrong. DONT BE A YES MAN OR WOMAN…
Just tell them!
Honesty is one of the main pillars of friendship. The other must be aware that he can count on your honesty. Even if honesty may hurt the other person’s feelings… you should try to tell the truth without compromise.
Don’t crowd them
Don’t be a needy friend. That’s the friend that is always in need, Timely, Emotional, Spiritually, Financially. It can be very taxing on your relationship. If your friend wants some space to think or to be alone for a while, understand this need. There is no reason to “stick” on them, since friendship does not mean being together all the time.
This will give the necessary “breath” to your friendship, so as to appreciate more the time you spend together.
Shut Up and Quit whining!
We have all had them, that friend that is constantly whining about life. They always see the glass half empty and never half full. There is nothing worse than a friend who constantly whines and can’t have a normal conversation.
There are always “bad” days, but you can’t always be negative in a conversation. Instead, listen carefully to the other and have a constructive conversation.
Understand the weaknesses of your friend
Treat your friends as equal human beings, despite the years of your friendship. Take into account their weaknesses, but also your own. You need to understand their mistakes and not think that you are always right!
Christopher Allen
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